You call the shots, babe, I just wanna be yours.
Welcome to Meet Me At the Altare: July Edition! (Bonus points if you guess the song reference.)
Read on for planning non-negotiables, advice, and photos that eat #nocrumbs. 👇
Meet Melissa + James
“Wedding planning isn't party planning; it's hospitality!”
March 29, 2025 I THE ROUNDHOUSE
Melissa and James wanted their guests to feel taken care of and their planning was centered around that. One quick glance through their (gorg!) wedding album and it is evident they achieved their goal. The joy from the guests radiates through the pictures. That is of course in huge credit to their photographer, Chellise, capturing this so beautifully.
As I looked though these photos (saving many to my own “dream folder” ) I became even more aware of something we discuss often with our clients; the relationship between couple and vendors being crucial to the execution of the vision. A top three non negotiable for M+ J was “a photographer that fit our creative sensibilities”.
Melissa also shared how the vendor relationship was vital to her planning process. “Some of our favorite moments were forming really strong friendships with our brilliant vendors”, she told us. Melissa and James’s collaboration with Chellise is the perfect example of the importance of choosing vendors you really align with because with that comes trust, and with trust comes a really beautiful representation of your dream day-turned-reality.
Meet Courtney and Grant
“Do what you can to make it authentically you.”
July 12, 2024 I TALEA
Courtney and Grant wanted a day that felt super specifically “them” and the outcome was spot on. “Our wedding was the best day of my life because we were able to do things how we wanted without wondering “will people like this?” Instead we asked “will we love this?”, Courtney shared. “We had kind of a long ceremony but each piece was so meaningful for us and we skipped some of the traditions that didn’t make sense to us like a garter toss or even a cake. I’m sure there are people who didn’t like our wedding, but I spent the whole night with my husband- all smiles, and that’s the most important part.”
I love how Courtney phrased the traditions decision as skipping traditions that “didn’t make sense to [them].” We find often when supporting couples and families through the wedding planning season of life, the conflict of “traditions” comes up. What could be crucial to one couple might feel antiquated to another. Or simply. just not the fit for their love story and plan for the night. Other times it comes down to a compromise of the timeline. The timeline is give and take. If you want a longer ceremony, that means less time later for traditions like cutting the cake, etc.
If you are in the midst of planning and deciding which traditions to include or omit has been a point of conflict within your family, we recommend trying to adjust the timeline to accommodate in creative ways. For example; let’s take the long ceremony and no cake cutting. If the cake cutting was very important to your mom, what you could do is still have a cake and have it served, but just not stop the dance floor for a featured focus around you and your fiance’ actually physically cutting the cake. A compromise goes a long way in the planning process.
Navigating compromises and creative ideas like this is where you can really lean on your planning team. We know it when it comes to traditions, it can be layered too. As Courtney wisely noted, “it gets complicated with who is paying”. We encourage you to have patience and ultimately remember Courtney’s advice. “Do what you can to make it authentically you.”
Want to find extra peace within the planning season of your engagement? Our founder and CEO, Lara, has been recommending these journals for years as a tried and true “wedding must have.” Get the gel pens ready! :)
We asked each couple their Negotiables and Non-negotiables for wedding planning.
Here is what they said:
M + J
Non-negotiables: 1. INDOOR venues only! A photographer that fit our creative sensibilities 3. Opting for a DJ over a band for maximum dance party vibes
Negotiables: We were happy to negotiate or reprioritize any elements that didn't actively enhance our guest's experience.
C + G
Non-negotiables: food trucks and ice cream, DJ for dance jams, a wedding that felt authentic to us, writing our own vows
Negotiables: basically everything else
Something Borrowed…
Advice from those who have lived and loved it is the best way to go. Here is each couple’s advice for all of you.
M + J
“The things that matter are often the lowest cost things: making sure everyone's names are spelled correctly on the invites/seating cards, taking every opportunity to show your gratitude and appreciation, give people all the info they need to make their trip positive, plan for inclement weather, don't leave people out in the cold, make sure people are fed and have drinks! Guests that are mentally, physically, and emotionally taken care of are the guests that will show up and bring the best energy!”
C + G
“Take photos of your trial hair and makeup and get photos of the flowers early. You don’t need a rehearsal but make sure everyone you love has a seat where you want them (my MOHs sat in the back row because we didn’t save them a seat). And make sure you vibe with your photographer. Erica made us feel so natural and confident we didn’t have to pose.”
For those invites and escort cards we recommend Polk Paper, btw. And for more on Erica and her work, check out her site here.
ps. It WAS an Arctic Monkey’s song in the title. Did you guess it right? ⛄🐒
Jam on here.
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